So Happy!!

So we finally had our first OB appointment & ultrasound today...oh I've been so anxious for this day!!  Seems like it has taken so long to come!  First of all, I love my OB, she is super nice & just amazing.  My hubby came with me, & pretty much first thing the OB did the ultrasound, & we got to see baby!!  We also got to see its little heartbeat!! Oh that was so awesome! :)  I was a little sad we didn't get to hear it (she said that machine didn't do that), but it was still awesome to see it, & she said it looked like a strong 160 bpm to her. :)  Also, baby is measuring pretty much right on track...by my chart I thought it was 7 weeks 2 days, & she measured it at 7 weeks 1 day, so pretty much right there, with an official due date of December 2nd! :)  We got the little ultrasound picture!! Omg, I'm through the moon. :)  So happy. 

Nausea :(

Omg, this is sooo hard! :(  I had REALLY hoped to be one of those people who never had morning sickness or nausea, but I guess that was a high hope.  For the last week almost, I've started having full-on nausea, all throughout the day, though it's worst in the morning & at night.  And oh my goodness, it's really hard to deal with.  I've come close to crying the last couple mornings/evenings just because it makes me feel so miserable.  I've been trying all the things that I've read can help, like ginger ale, ginger tea, sucking on hard candies, eating saltines/club crackers, & yesterday I bought sea bands, which I think are helping a little.  Even with all that, you still feel it.  I never realized how hard this must be for pregnant women before.  Thankfully I'm not throwing up, but having general nausea all the time still feels awful.  The other hard thing is being crazy hungry yet having aversions to like, everything.  So you're extremely hungry but all food sounds disgusting, lol.  That has been kinda tough too.  

I feel bad for complaining, but I think nausea in particular is just something that's really hard for me to handle - I don't tolerate it very well.  I've had some rather scary experiencing throwing up while having the flu before, & so I think any time I even feel like throwing up, I'm terrified of it.  I did actually try to throw up a few times recently cuz I was feeling so bad, but it didn't work.  

I'm just really praying that this will calm down or I find some better remedies that will work.  For now just doing my best to get through my work days.  First ultrasound is on Tuesday, I can't wait!! :) 

5 weeks

Welp, I will be 5 weeks tomorrow!  It feels great to get to this point!!  I think that now I might finally stop temping, lol.  It has been so fun to tell our families & a few closest friends this week who have been part of this journey with us, it has been amazing!  Other than that we won't be telling anyone else til 12 weeks most likely.  The first ultrasound is scheduled for April 16th, I'm SO excited for that, can't wait!  Although I did struggle w/ a lot of fears/worries when I first found out, lately I've just had a sense of peace, which has been really helpful.  I'm doing my best to just relax & enjoy life, & this experience. :)  I probably won't be posting that much anymore, but will try to give updates here & there.  But I still love reading everyone else's blogs! :)

Christmas Every Day :D

Alrighty, so you know how I was all grumpy about my chart yesterday?? lol.  Well, this morning when I woke up at 4am to temp, I was still deciding whether or not to test today (11dpo) like I had planned.  I took my temp & it had gone up again, so I figured hey why not?  My DH knew I was testing, & he happened to be awake in bed next to me.  So I went in the bathroom & tested with a First Response Early Response (FRER) test, & within a minute or so a faint line appeared!!  I came out of the bathroom before the timer was done & told my hubby "Omg Babe, I'm pregnant!!"  He smiled & looked totally shocked!  I went on saying a series of "omg", "holy crap", etc, then made him come look at the line, haha.  We are having a baby!!! :D

So, logistics first: Timing: we hit O-3, O-1, O, & O+2
We used OPKs, as you remember, I temped of course, we used Preseed, & I took PNVs.  

Here is the HiLaRiOuS part of the story that I love!  So a couple weeks ago, someone had posted on the bump, that they got their BFP & one of the things they had done, totally as a joke, was stand to on their head after sex! lol.  And then she got pregnant! WELL...I thought this was SO hilarious that I told DH about it, & the next time we BD'd when I had a +opk, I decided to be funny & totally did my own naked headstand (or as close as I could get, that is, lol) afterwards!  DH laughed & then proceeded to do his own since he was better at it than me, LOL.  So go figure - I stood on my head, & now I am pregnant!! LOL.

Seeing that result this morning was amazing - that moment felt so surreal!!  It's so crazy, because, despite yesterday when I started to want to protect myself from disappointment, these last several days since O, I really have felt in my heart that this was going to happen.  I can't even explain it really, there was just SO many things indicating to me that this was God's timing.  And that's honestly what got my hopes up so much, because otherwise I can't say I would've expected this right out the gate with my first real "O".  I was so excited to even "O" in the first place, but over time this cycle, so many things have spoken to me, so I want to share about that.

Towards the beginning of my cycle, after I found out about the PCOS thing, a good girlfriend of mine, who is very blessed in fertility, prayed over me that I would ovulate & conceive (and the last person she prayed for found out she was pregnant the next month!).  She put her hand on my stomach, & it was super warm, & I honestly felt something, like a spiritual feeling I can't explain.  Well, later as it turns out, I ended up ovulating!!  I was SO excited just for that!  Well, then as you guys might remember me saying, my hubby & I had gone in to our church's ministry school to teach on "love & relationships", both from our personal experience, & my experience as a counselor.  Well, afterwards, an adult student who didn't even know us, came up & said that he was a little nervous to say anything, but after hearing my DH say his goal in life was to "be a good husband & father", he felt comfortable to say that when he saw us up there he had "seen" in the spiritual realm, me w/ a pregnant belly (he did the round motion, haha).  At that time I had not O'd yet, but was still emotional from the PCOS thing, & tears kinda welled up in my eyes.  Hearing someone say something like that was really really touching, it really blessed me.  Well then, the other day, on my brother in law's birthday (the 17th), we were out to lunch w/ him, when I was asking him some things about his girlfriend, who I haven't met yet, because she lives far away right now but will be moving back soon.  Well anyway, he got a look in his eye & he said omg I just remembered, she had a dream about you!  I was like "really??"...thought this was super odd since we haven't met.  He said yeah, she told me the other day she dreamt that you were pregnant, & were telling her about the sex of the baby, etc.  If that doesn't give you chills I don't know what will! haha.  

And on TOP of all of this...at some point in my cycle when I realized if I got pregnant now the due date would be in December, I just had this CrAzY feeling that this was going to happen now.  Not because I have wanted a December due date - in fact I originally wanted a summer baby (TTC makes you throw those plans out the window & not care about things like this real quick) & have always thought it would suck to have your bday in the month of Christmas, haha.  But here's why - it's because many years ago when I was a teenager, my favorite preacher/speaker EVER singled me out in a huge church service, & prophesied over me a "word" that I have taken with me all my life.  There were a few different points in it, but at the main part, he had said "your life will be like 'Christmas Every Day' ".  My dad & I have joked about this over the years, & how both of us are totally claiming this for our lives, & how amazingly God really has blessed us!  Well, knowing my baby will be born in December, I just feel like that's God's way of saying "Merry Christmas!"  ...Omg now I am crying!  Seriously, He touches my heart with how intentional He was to show me all these things that would build my faith this cycle & show His intentional love for me.  I feel like this wasn't just "luck" or even "good timing", but that God did this on purpose in this way to show His incredible love to me.  Like it was meant to be.  He has been beside me in this incredibly difficult journey, helping me through, catching my tears, giving me hope, strength, endurance, & now here we are!  I feel incredibly blessed!  Merry Christmas!

To all my TTCers, I hope this gives you hope in some way!  My whole experience trying to conceive has really given me such a soft spot in my heart for everyone out there who has trouble TTC, & you will all always be in a T&Ps (thoughts & prayers)!  I hope you all get your BFPs soon!

Looks like a no go :/

Well, after my post yesterday morning, I was feeling just WAY too much anticipation (it was killing me!), so I spent the rest of the day yesterday calming myself down & preparing for a potential BFN.  I just wished I hadn't gotten so worked up.  In all reality, at the beginning of the 2ww I wasn't actually holding high hopes that it would really happen our first "real" cycle, but I think just with the various things I had heard from people, who didn't even know we were trying (I didn't even write all of them in here) gave me so much hope that I built up way to much anticipation.  

Well anyway, this morning my temp went back down to the pre-tri-level of temps (you can check the link from my previous post to see my chart).  I was super excited about the whole "triphasic thing" until yesterday I started doing some research on the bump & realized that a lot of people get triphasic charts & it's not a good idea to put a lot of stock in that.  I was actually kinda irritated after learning that because, much as I love TCOYF, the thing that made me think my chart being triphasic meant anything in the first place was because the book actually says that if you experience a triphasic chart you are "almost certainly pregnant".  Way to get someone's hopes up, thanks.

So at this point I'm guessing I'm probably out.  We'll see how my temp is tomorrow, but unless it goes up again I probably won't test.  I'm glad at least that I prepared my mind & heart for this possibility yesterday, because even though I'm disappointed, I do feel okay.  I feel like part of me just "knew" last night actually, so I wasn't too surprised this morning.  I'm kinda going back now to my feelings at the beginning of this 2ww, that regardless, this cycle was a GREAT thing, & hopefully I will continue to ovulate so I can keep trying like a normal person, lol.

Umm...

Okay, so...this is definitely looking like a triphasic chart to me!!!
  http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/4036ef

I also had some light cramps & "twinges" in my uterus yesterday & the day before, on 7dpo & 8dpo (today is 9dpo).  I don't want to get my hopes up too much, but so much has happened this cycle w/ God building my faith about this, & honestly I just feel like something is happening!  We shall see!! :)

Waiting Game :)

Well, it seems like there's not too much to say since I'm just pretty much waiting around now.  I'm only 5dpo right now, & oh the days are dragging on, lol.  I was thinking that if I did have a fertilized egg in there, it may be in my uterus by today or tomorrow, although not implanted yet, just an interesting thought.  Tonight I've been having these stabbing pains in the left side of my abdomen which is making me think about that more, haha.  I don't want to get into speculating, but I am curious!  

In a way I've felt really relaxed lately, because it's been nice to not have to have to worry about anything, do any OPKs, think about timing sex, get angry at my body for not working, etc.  And it has been awesome to know there is at least a chance we could conceive this cycle! :)  It's funny, I think I felt about ovulating the way that many women do about + pregnancy tests!  For example, when I got that 3rd high temp I texted my hubby & said, "we did it, I ovulated!" haha.  (mostly cuz we had such great timing).  He has been so great lately, & getting more into the whole TTC thing.  My previous cycles he wasn't really wanting to do the whole "timing sex" thing, cuz the idea seemed forced I guess, but ever since we watched The Great Sperm Race he has made several comments to me about not realizing how important timing is, & as soon I got a +OPK this last cycle he was like ok let's do it, which was great!  :)  Him being on board makes the whole thing way easier!

At the same time, waiting still sucks, ya know?  At least I can know we did the best we could, & actually the best part is knowing exactly how long I'll have to wait, which is nothing compared to my long-ass cycles of not having the slightest clue when something might happen! lol.  The predictability is at least helping me through it.  I think I'll prob test a week from tomorrow (13dpo), we'll see, I'm new to this.  Either way I know this cycle was a great step in the right direction, & hopefully my body will continue doing what it should! :)